05. Food for Thought: Navigating the Rapids of Adolescence

By Howard Groome

What is an adolescent?

Adolescence is the period in life when we leave childhood behind and start to become adults. It is a road we have all travelled – some of you might still be on it. For many of us it is not an easy journey. Big changes are going on in our bodies and at times our whole world seems to have turned upside down. For the first time we become aware of the need to stand on our own two feet and make choices, some of them very hard ones. Often we feel lonely, frustrated and scared; we lose confidence in who we are – sometimes we lose hope that we will ever be successful or accepted.

If this rings bells for you, try to put yourself in the shoes of adolescents today. Many are finding this journey especially hard. The World Health Organisation suggests a number of issues faced by adolescents. As you read, ask yourself how true each item is for the teenagers you know or are working with.

In most cultures adolescence takes place between the ages of 10 and 21. During these years young people pass through three stages of development: Early Adolescence – 11 to 14 years; Middle Adolescence – 15 to 18 years and Late Adolescence – 18 to 21 years.

Is this true for your culture?

At what age are children reckoned to begin to leave childhood behind?

Are there differences in different regions orsocial classes, or between girls and boys?

Rapid physical growth and development of sexual organs

This is usually the first sign of adolescence. It is impossible to predict when it will begin for any individual. It often happens quickly and without warning. It can be embarrassing and disconcerting for the young person who may feel odd or awkward about their changing bodies over which they feel they have no control. These changes are often accompanied by increased appetite and need for sleep.

How are young people prepared for these changes in your culture?

When they begin, how are young people helped to deal with them?

Is shame a problem?

They explore the capabilities and potential of their bodies

In the middle and later stages of adolescence young people begin to enjoy their new bodies, often becoming very interested in exercise and in developing their sense of physical power and attractiveness. However some may become preoccupied and depressed about their bodies, seeing themselves as too fat, pimply or smelly – they become over concerned about their body image. This can be especially true if they live in a multicultural community.

What opportunities exist within your community to assist both groups of young people: those who feel positive about their bodies and those who feel the opposite?

They reach sexual maturity and the onset of sexual activity

This is of course the whole point of adolescence, to equip the young person with the ability to continue the species. Young people often get very mixed messages about sex and sexuality. It is critical for them to realise that the feelings and drives which their hormones are producing are totally natural and shared by all humans. Laying a good foundation of information and values in early adolescence is important in helping the young person cope with the emotional roller coaster that will come in relationships with the opposite sex.

What kinds of support are available to young people in your community as they work through the various stages of achieving sexual maturity?

They explore new relationships with their peer groups, with the opposite sex, families and the community

In the early stages of adolescence there is increasing focus on peer friendships as the young person develops an identity outside their role as a child in a family. These relationships, with same sex and opposite sex partners, help the adolescent to explore and develop their own identity. At this stage of their lives, young people need to learn to discriminate between helpful and unhelpful friendships and relationships. This is not always easy.

How can your community best support its young people through this process?

They experiment in sexual relationships, alcohol, drugs and tobacco use

The growing adolescent finds a whole new world at his or her feet. They find opportunities for a range of behaviours and begin to realise the tension between satisfying their own needs and being respectful of others and of communal standards. Often they pass through a period of ‘experimentation’ from which they emerge wiser and with stronger values. The danger for some is that in this process of learning they become addicted to a substance or negative behaviour, or are exploited or harmed by others. Throughout this period of their lives, adolescents need the friendship and support of wise friends with whom they can talk though the issues in their lives. In the final stage of adolescence most develop a clear sexual identity, become concerned about serious lasting relationships and develop the capacity for tender and sensual love.

Do the teenagers known to you have wise friends and counsellors who they trust and with whom they can share their deepest feelings?

They develop adult mental processes and personal morality

As their bodies develop, so do their minds. Through their adolescent years they steadily acquire new thinking skills, such as thinking more about possibilities, thinking more abstractly, and seeing things as relative rather than absolute. While they develop their own personal morality they have an increasing ability to take the perspective of others into account.

It is important that adolescents have access to adults with whom they can explore ideas and values openly and without judgement; a place where they feel safe and confident to express themselves and sound out new ideas.

Do the teenagers that you know have a safe place where they can explore new ideas and values openly and without judgment?

They develop a sense of identity and self-worth

In the pre-teen years we gain our identity from our parents. In adolescence we begin to develop a strong sense of personal identity. This process is probably the central task of the growing adolescent. Identity has been described as our deepest sense of self. It involves feelings of belonging, of being accepted and of being acceptable. It is a positive feeling of being at home in your own body, a sense of knowing where you are going, and an inner assurance of acceptance and recognition from the people who count in your life. A positive Identity does not come easily. It involves much trial and error, trying different life ways, testing values and attitudes. A strong component of a positive identity includes being comfortable with one’s own sexual role and sexuality.

In what ways can you assist young people known to you to develop strong personal identities?

They change from dependence on family to relative independence

Through the years of adolescence there is a gradual restructuring of the relationships between parents and children. This is often a bumpy road, but it often arrives at a new closeness in which the young person enjoys freedom, but has a new mature sharing relationship with his or her parents.

What is the typical pattern for this process in your culture?

Do parents often fail to understand what is happening and make unrealistic demands on their children?

How can you help?

Finally it is important to recognise that young people in this stage of life, especially in the first years, are extremely vulnerable and uncertain. They need a great deal of help and support (of the non judgemental kind), even if they don’t always admit that themselves.

It is important to recognise that Christian young people are not exempt from this process – far from it. Many have the added task of dealing with the realisation that the values and expectations they have, and the values their family or Christian community hold, are not shared by the great majority of their peers. This can cause them great pain and confusion as they face huge choices about their values and behaviours.

Howard Groome